F You, Pinterest, and Happy Valentine’s Day Too

The only holiday that I ever feel completely inadequate, unprepared, and like a complete jackass of a mother around, is Valentine’s Day.  How can a person feel like a jackass around a holiday that is comprised of hearts and love and hugs and all that shit?  I’ll tell you:  Pinterest. Pinterest has ruined me.   I would put myself in the “occasional pinterest browser” category, which is a good thing because I think I have Pinterest-induced bipolar disorder.

I browse Pinterest, pin a bunch of ambitious projects/meals/crafts/workouts/ to my boards, get all excited about upcoming projects I plan to plan but never complete, meals that won’t taste good because I don’t know what half of the ingredients are or where to find them in the store, and crafts that will make me look like a nice creative crafty mother but will take way too long to make. This is where my bipolar comes in–Example: “Yay, this home project will be so easy!  It will look great!” Four hours later:  “You whorebag of a picture frame!  You look horrible shellacked with puzzle pieces!  What the F am I supposed to do with this?  I hate you Pinterest!”  Or on really daring projects that require my husband to use actual tools…those projects usually end with me crying and depressed because I want to move to a bigger home where this project will really look nice, like the bitch’s house who posted the damn picture in the first place.  But then I go back and pin some more and start the process over again.

pinterest valentine

Every year, and I’m talking EVERY year, my kids bring home their little bags full of valentines and treats from their classmates. And every year I see just how inadequate I am when it comes to being crafty for my kids.  And every year I think, “F you, stupid Pinterest craft.  I gave out packets of Fun Dip that good health-conscious mothers are probably gasping at and throwing out right now.”  They bring home little baggies full of adorable valentine treats–pretzels somehow molded into the shape of Cupid’s arrow, licorice in the shape of a heart that is packaged in a felt bag with conversation hearts glued to them (which really messes with my mind, because now I can’t eat those little masterpieces), cucumbers flavored like chocolate so the kids think they are eating candy but rather getting their daily serving of vegetable.  And what do my kids hand out?  A pack of Fun Dip with their name illegibly written on it because I forgot all about them so they are filling them out in the car on the way to school.

fundip

So Happy Valentine’s Day from my kids to yours–enjoy the Fun Dip. And piss off, Pinterest.

Find me on Facebook! Click the link below to compare sad Valentine’s Day crafts. You can also follow me on Twitter @mrs_momblog
https://www.facebook.com/MrsMomblog?ref=hl

 

About Mrs Momblog

Mom of 3, wife of 1, teacher of 103. Sarcastic always.
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3 Responses to F You, Pinterest, and Happy Valentine’s Day Too

  1. Tracey Johns says:

    We are twins separated at birth… I’m sure of it. (and I feel like I am turning into a stalker… and maybe I am…. sitting on the couch reading your posts while both kids are at school and a house full of nasty to clean up and a lesson plan to get ready for tomorrow. I know I will pay for this later). 🙂

  2. Holly Pierce says:

    Hilarious!

  3. Crusader Jenn says:

    I feel your pain. I love going a little over overboard with the DIY birthday parties, but I have a board full of “making a house a home” (yes, that’s what I titled it) items that not one has been touched. And I’ve learned to look at recipes before pinning. If it has more than 10 ingredients, or requires extra steps before hitting the oven or crockpot, forget it. But I got schooled in classroom invites with my daughter’s TWO YEAR OLD preschool class this year. Apparently the cheapest cards that pull apart aren’t good enough unless it’s stapled to a bag of treats or unless they at least fold to close. And in that case you’d better include a fun pencil as well. Also, the stickers that come with in the box are meant as gifts to the other kids…not for your child to plaster all over the invite. Oops. 😉

    If I was a child in your kid’s class, the fun dip would have been my favorite though. I don’t want a pretzel shaped into an arrow. I want a stick of sugar that I can dip into more sugar. What’s “sweeter” than that?! 😉

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