Doing The Best We Can

We are wrapping up our second week of summer vacation here in sunny Western New York, and I just came out of my two week hibernation/slumber/fog of recovering from the past ten months. This year was a tough one. With all of the changes both at school and at home, and a schedule change that threw our family for a loop, we barely made it through some days. But, I did the best I could. Some days my best was making it to the bathroom 12th period without peeing my pants a little bit. Some days my best was finding the shirt my son was looking for in the first laundry basket rather than the fourth. Some days my kids at school got the best of me, while my kids at home got the scraps. Some days my kids at home got the best of me, while my kids at school got the scraps. Some days my dog was the only one who got the best of me.

But. I did the best I could.

My boys got on the bus with their teeth brushed, wearing clean clothes, homework done, lunches in their bags every morning. My daughter was a trooper and was awake by 5:40 so we could leave by 6:30 for Pre-K. I was greeting and high-fiving and common coring by 7:15 (well sometimes 7:20…7:25). I taught, disciplined, encouraged, laughed, disciplined, intervened, and pulled my hair out until 3:00 and then I crashed.  I crashed HARD. Like, passed out, slumped over, drooling, snoring, dead asleep for twenty minutes in the preschool parking lot before going in to get my daughter every afternoon. That type of crash.

And then I was on for the rest of the night. I was dealing with after school-hungry-tired-I-don’t-want-to-do-my-homework-I-only-want-to-watch-TV-and-I’m-going-to-yell-at-my-brother-and-sister-if-they-talk-to-me, homework, dinner, cleaning up, hockey/basketball/baseball practice, packing f’ing lunches, signing forms that I was supposed to send back three weeks ago and now has THIRD NOTICE highlighted at the top, playing Old Maid and Uno so I didn’t feel like I was completely ignoring my kids (which I was because there is just so much TO DO BEFORE BED), and oh hi, husband!  How was your day, hon? Sorry you’re walking into this disaster and can you just throw the laundry in the dryer OK I’ll have a real conversation with you in five years, bedtime, picking out clothes for the next morning that will be here in just seven short hours, and then looking at the bag of papers that needed to be graded but I know I’ll only get through three before falling asleep and that poor kid will have a random red zigzag line on his paper from me falling asleep while reading it. That. That was my day, Monday-Friday for the past ten months. 

But I did the best I could.

And I constantly felt like I was failing. I was failing at being a teacher because I was too busy being a mom. I was failing at being a mom because I was too busy being a teacher. I was failing at marriage because it was easy to put that last. I was failing at writing because I was busy parenting and teaching. I was failing at parenting and teaching because I was busy writing. My husband got lost in the shuffle when he really needed a partner.

And then I got lost in the shuffle because I really needed me.

I felt tired and I looked tired. I bought better makeup and felt guilty about spending money on better makeup. I fit in exercise when I could and then felt guilty about leaving to go exercise. I was exhausted from exercising at 9:00. I ate Butterfingers and drank too much coffee. I gained a few pounds from the Butterfingers and coffee. I fit in another exercise class and felt guilty about that. I lost more weight. I still felt exhausted. I still felt guilty. I still felt like I didn’t know where I fit in, but I knew where everybody else did.

But I did the best I could. 

My story is not unique to me. I’m sure many moms and dads, working or not, feel this way throughout the school year. The constant hurry and rush to get from one day to the next.

My goal is to not rush this summer. No hurrying out of the house, no “Come on, come on, we’re late!”, no constant glancing at the clock.

September can wait. 

Lazy days

Lazy days

You can find Mrs Momblog on Facebook here where I write daily shenanigans.

You can also follow me on Twitter here where I pretend to know what I’m doing.

You can also find me in pictures on Instagram here where I stalk my son.

Or you can check out my Pinteresty goals here to see what I won’t be baking, cooking, crafting, or sewing since I’m pretty basic.

 

 

 

About Mrs Momblog

Mom of 3, wife of 1, teacher of 103. Sarcastic always.
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7 Responses to Doing The Best We Can

  1. That is how I feel all the time raising 2 boys and being a teacher and a wife and writing a blog. You are singing my song! I think I did my best, but honestly, I am not really sure if I did. I think my job got the best and everyone else got what was left…which wasn’t much. That is what I feel guilty about.

    The one lesson I learned this year thought…taking time for myself…that is nothing to feel guilty about. It is a necessity (like better makeup). How can we fill their buckets if ours isn’t full?

    Have a joyous, relaxing, we have no where to be summer!

    Trina

  2. Kelly Croft says:

    This posts resonates with me greatly. I am returning back to the classroom after a year and a half maternity leave with my second child. I am PETRIFIED! Life was super crazy while I was teaching with one daughter, now there are two, and I’ve been out if the loop for awhile.

    The good news is that you are probably doing a great job, although it doesn’t feel like it. Please take the summer to relax, rejuvenenate and find happiness. Thank you so much for this post.

  3. Kate LaFond says:

    Mrs. Momblog, you are my hero! I love your honesty and your humor. Your posts always resonate with me because they’re REAL! Enjoy your summer!

  4. You just summed up my entire year as well and how I felt about it. Thanks for writing and enjoy the rest of your vacation.

  5. Steph says:

    I’m so glad you wrote this. I guess I always think of teachers as being better at everything than me…so organized, so put together every day. Now I’m realizing that teachers are people with families and laundry piles and problems just like the rest of us. What an eye opener – the teacher isn’t judging me – she’s too dang tired!

  6. Alaina says:

    Hello, I happened upon your blog through a Common core post that was on face book. Parents hate it with a passion. I am sure many educators are just as frustrated. I could go on, however I have read that you understand how hard it is from both the parents point of view and the educator. I came to your blog because of a comment made about Buffalo. I too am from Western New York and posted about how beautiful the weather has been and that we still have our pool open. Have a wonderful weekend. Alaina

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